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A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
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at 2008-10-13 |
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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then the were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
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at 2008-10-13 |
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Brendan Behan told the story of how he got a job in London with a street repair gang. The first job he went to they were down in a hole singing Happy Birthday around the foreman. "Is it the foreman's birthday?" asked Brendan.
"No, Brendan. It's the third anniversary of the hole."
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at 2008-10-13 |
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A husband went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Some friends had been invited over that night to celebrate her fortieth, and he wanted to get something special. At the store he spotted some cute little music boxes. One blue one was playing "Happy Birthday." Thinking they were all the same, he chose a red one and had it gift-wrapped.
Later, at dinner, he gave it to his wife and asked her to open it. When she lifted the lid, out came the tune to "The Old Gray Mare, She Ain't What She Used to Be!"
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at 2008-10-13 |
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A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang "Happy Birthday" to him. But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had dialed the wrong number.
"Don't let it bother you," said a strange but amused voice. "You folks need all the practice you can get."
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at 2008-10-13 |
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A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
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at 2008-10-13 |
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At the age of twenty, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at forty, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.
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at 2008-10-13 |
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Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since 15.
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at 2008-10-13 |
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Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
- Robert Southey
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at 2008-10-13 |
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It's your 21'st birthday, now you can do all the things you were already doing, but weren't supposed to be.
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at 2008-10-12 |
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When a man is tired of life on his 21st birthday it indicates that he is rather tired of something in himself.
- F Scott Fitzgerald
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at 2008-10-11 |
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Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
- Robert Southey
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at 2008-10-13 |
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All that we lack at birth, all that we need when we come to man's estate, is the gift of education.
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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at 2008-10-10 |
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At twenty-one, so many things appear solid, permanent, untenable.
- Orson Welles
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at 2008-10-09 |
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I just came down wrong on my knee going for a ball, and it is just one of those fluke accidents. I had to have surgery a few days before my 21st birthday.
- Brittney Gregory
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at 2008-10-09 |
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I played a practice round with him at Baltusrol in the '93 Open on my 21st birthday.
- Justin Leonard
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at 2008-10-08 |
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You don't know how excited he was about that -- he was in the United States on his 21st birthday.
- Carla Thurin
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at 2008-10-08 |
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Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
- Richard Strauss
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at 2008-10-07 |
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It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me
- Ellen Glasgow
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at 2008-10-07 |
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The excess of our youth are checks written against our age and they are payable with interest thirty years later.
- Charles Caleb Colton
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at 2008-10-13 |
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